everything is temporal…
Lately I’ve been having a hard time coming to terms with finite things. I see around me and multiple things are finishing, my apartment lease, my scholar year, relationships, and even the time for my passport to arrive on time for that trip I’m planning. Everything is temporal. Everything is defined by time. Since I was a kid I struggled with the concept of time, aging seemed like the end of the world. As if my live was going to end by the progression of time. Oh right, that’s exactly what happens. It seemed so short, and aggravatingly slow at times, but always conscious that it will soon be over.
Looking back in my life, I see friends come and go, butt that doesn’t make it easier when it keeps on happening. I’ve always kept a small group of people around me, that means though that I grow really closer to each of them. When they are gone, for a reason or another, they leave a dent in my shell. Something was there before. Not anymore. And now, I have to figure out what too do with the dent. Grieve it. Fix it. Forget it? No. Never.
I find it excruciatingly painful to grieve friends, to grieve relationships. It’s like Juan Gabriel said in his song, “la costumbre es más fuerte que el amor,” or habits are stronger than love. Some relationships are not filled with just love, but complex feelings, support, and company. Even when love is not around the others prevail. At this point, I’m not sure where I’m going with this. I guess this is just me blabbering words for the Web to read.